Facing a Former Fat Girl Fear

While there are a lot of great benefits of having a significant other, the benefit of having access to a neighborhood pool sometimes outweighs those typically dating benefits.  It is great to have someone to hang out with, someone to laugh with, someone to hug you...but having access to a pool during the summer is amazing.  Starting from the time the pool opens, every weekend, my mission is to get to the pool.  

I already overcome the fear of wearing the swimsuit last year as the body I have might not be perfect,

Pool Selfie

but I have worked hard to get to this body!  This was especially in my mindset after I finished a 5k on Saturday and then heading to the pool afterwards.  Being that it was a neighborhood pool and the weekend, the majority of swimmers were children.  

Spending time at the pool brings back childhood memories biking up daily to our neighborhood pool with my two friends, Erin & Erin.  The pool opened at 11 AM, and we were there.  Hanging out in the four different pools the swim club had until 5 PM when our parents were heading home from work.  Having swim lessons early in my youth, I was very comfortable swimming in the deep end, flipping off the edge of the pool, and going off the diving board.

As my weight increased and my activity level decreased, my freedom around a pool decreased. When we traveled or I had access to a pool, I would not get into the water even as I craved to.  The thoughts of others saying something about my size, my weight, or worse, calling me a "whale" was always in the back of my head.  So here I found myself on Saturday at the neighborhood pool embracing another fat girl fear.  There are certain things in which as a larger person, I used to avoid: sitting in a booth, getting in an elevator after people who can feel the increase weight, eating in public, and getting on the diving board.  

The neighborhood kids were all gone, and it was just the lifeguard, my boyfriend, and I at the pool around 5 PM.  The diving board was calling out to me.  I have been watching the neighborhood kids jump off during the day with no fear.  Knowing the last time I was on a diving board was before my teen years, I wanted to do it.  

I walked over and stepped up to the board.  Then...that fear set in.  What if I slip?  What if the board does not bounce?  What if I make a huge splash showing my size?  What if I weigh too much and break the board?  This diving board is just a foot off the ground.  But to me, it was me overcoming 20 years of pushing aside my desires because of my weight.

Not knowing what was going on in my head, the boyfriend became increasing frustrated as I kept getting on and off the diving board.  He proceed to get on the board and jump in without a thought.  I followed him by getting back on the board and walking out again to the edge of the board.  I checked with the teenage lifeguard that he would be able to save me if anything happened.  

Then I plugged my nose and stepped out over the edge...screaming the whole way until I hit the water.

I immediately pushed myself up to the top of the pool and started giggling above the water.  There are moments in my journey in which I say goodbye to the former me and embraced the new me.  This was one of those moments.  I laughed because I remembered how I was able to overcome those barriers in which I put in front of me.  

And just like I was as kid, I immediately got back out of the pool and proceeded to jump off the diving board for the next 30 minutes...screaming and laughing the whole time.  

@BetterJNel: Home Fitness Room for Under $200

Ozarks Woman's Frugal Home Fitness Room for Under $200  (Follow link to video)

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Home gyms don't have to be pricey. For one Ozarks woman, all it took was a little patience and some shopping around.

At work, Jennifer Nelson sits behind a desk, but when she's at home she doesn't like leaving her family to go to the fitness center or its monthly price tag.

"It really came down to the fact that I wanted the resources that I wanted, easily accessible and I didn't have the funds," says Jennifer.
So, Jennifer decided to bring the gym to her.

"This exercise ball was a discount. It was an open package return and they donated it to Goodwill," Jennifer explains. "If you go to Academy, it's going to run you like $15.00. I think this was like a quarter."

Instead of the big box stores, she took her quest for budget friendly-fitness equipment to Craigslist and garage sales.

"The best time is always the last part of every month, because everyone's moving. You know everybody is trying to get rid of those items."

It pays to come prepared. Jennifer scored an elliptical trainer for free.
"It was just you haul it, you take it and we were the first ones there with a truck."

This is the time of year when alot of people are spring cleaning. Jennifer recommends calling your local thrift store and letting them know if you're looking for something specific.

"We operate a wish list," says YOTO Inc. Executive Director Ken Childers.

Whether it's bargain bikes or affordable ab crunchers, Ken enjoys the adventure that comes with shopping on a thrift store budget. He operates the Youth of the Ozarks Thrift Store on N. Glenstone Ave. in Springfield.

"I came to work this morning and there was nothing out back. I come in from a lunch appointment and voila, I have a working treadmill."

Jennifer was able to build a quality home gym for less than $200, but even the best fitness rooms only go so far.

"You really can't ignore it when it's at your house, but at the same time you can find those good deals on Craigslist means that a lot of people don't utilize those resources," says Jennifer

Motivation hasn't been a problem for Jennifer. In a year and a half, she has said goodbye to 150 pounds.

"I just finished my first half marathon this weekend, those are things that having these resources to work at home 30 minutes a day got me to that finish line."

Having a gym at home has not only encouraged her to make keep up her new healthy lifestyle, but to spend more time with her family.

"I work from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. most days and we come home and have dinner and it's off to the gym for her and that's an hour. That's all we had together. So by putting in a gym, you know I get her the rest of the evening," says boyfriend Josh Collwell.

Jennifer also says it's important to reward yourself. For instance, the money she would have been putting into a gym membership now goes toward buying healthy foods or new workout clothes